Bernice McGee’s Story: 36 year old breast cancer survivor

Disclaimer: Know Your Lemons deeply values and respects the experiences and stories shared by breast cancer patients. The advice, statements, or facts presented in these narratives may not necessarily align with medical expertise or be universally applicable to every individual’s situation. Breast cancer is a complex and highly individualized medical condition, and while these stories offer valuable insights and emotional support, they should not substitute for professional medical advice or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider for personalized guidance and decision-making regarding breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and management. Know Your Lemons encourages a collaborative approach between patients, caregivers, and medical professionals to ensure the best possible care and outcomes for those affected by breast cancer.

The following dialogue was taken from an interview that we did with Bernice via Zoom….

Zhenya: Hi Bernice, I'm so glad we were able to meet and make this happen!

Bernice: So beautiful to meet you! And so beautiful to be able to connect and make something magical from an absolutely awfully challenging experience and time in my life. I've always been open about my journey and eager to share to anyone who would give me time to share... its honestly how I have found the peace and strength to get through. And it's remained the way in which I stay focused on the end goal. So, it's an absolute pleasure to tell my humble story, if it means just one women gets her breasts checked in a potential life changing test.

Zhenya: You are amazing! I can feel your passion radiating through and that's such a wonderful gift! So just to confirm, you are from Johannesburg, South Africa. How old are you and what do you do?

Bernice: Yep! So I am 36 years old and I'm a curriculum developer. I work with a group of pre-school organizations, we’re an NPO and we do a bunch of amazing stuff with various income brackets of demographics around Johannesburg and in the Western Cape. And that funds the work that we get to do in previously disadvantaged areas, and I get to write all the curriculum, all the plans that create resources, special supports, all of that stuff, which I train our teachers on and get to implement and manage and, and watch that process.

Zhenya: That's so great! And how did you hear about or come across our Foundation?

Bernice: Social media was how I found you guys actually. The whole Facebook, Instagram, all of that and I just thought it was a catchy little name, Know Your Lemons, and then just started looking at you guys' posts, and I liked the approach to it, just really making it easier to consume if that makes sense?

Zhenya: Yeah! So were you just randomly looking through Instagram, or was it Facebook?

Bernice: I think it was on Facebook, and it was your post on sharing your story, and I thought I’m going through it and happy to share my story. I will literally tell anyone who would listen, because I think there’s such value in it, and it’s brought me such peace and healing just to be open and honest and real about it, and yeah, here we are.

Zhenya: Oh wow, I love that so much. So, how and when did you first find your breast cancer?

Bernice: I was diagnosed on the 21st of October last year. I mean, so ironic, if you will, that it’s in Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And honestly I found it, very, I would say, by accident. I've been very good about check-ups and annuals and all of that since I was in my early 20s. Cancer runs strong on both sides of my family. So in my mind, the more I'm on top of it and just aware and cognizant, and I can go for my physicals and my check-ups and know my body. If you know, God forbid, it happens to me. I mean, it's inevitable, right? But if it happens to me, let me get it early enough so that I can be proactive about it and do something about it. So that was my whole mentality. But this little bugger, honestly, it wasn't there the one day and the next day it was there. It was the most bizarre thing. So I was just lying in bed, having a nice stretch, wake up morning, and I just felt what was like a marble, small little marble between my breast and my armpit, and kind of had a feel, and it was hard and immovable. So you know, all the classic tick boxes are being ticked, and your mind is going oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And my partner had a feel and he was like "You know what, let's not panic, make an appointment with the doctor. And it's no point freaking out about something that you know, so go to the doctor and get it sorted from there." So that's what I did, off I pop to the doctor, and she said just based on my family history, she's gonna save me from a biopsy, because let's rather be sure, and just to squash any kind of anxiety, because obviously at this point, I'm sweating bullets and I'm so anxious and like, your mind just goes everywhere except where to post it. So off I popped for a biopsy, and again, they kind of looked at it and I had my first mammogram that day. In South Africa, you have to be over the age of 40 to get a mammogram. So I fell quite below that. So I had the biopsy. He did the mammo and the scans and everything, and he said, "Look, it's a strange shape. It's in a strange place. But because of your family history, we're going to biopsy it and send it through." And that was the Wednesday afternoon, and the Friday morning, 8am I got the call and I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer. So really quick and really sudden and really just spiraled I suppose.

Zhenya: Did all those things like the biopsy, mammogram, they happened over the course of a week then, or all in one day?

Bernice: Same day. Same day, yeah.

Zhenya: That's great that they were able to see you so soon!

Bernice: Yeah, I must say throughout this whole process, just having a medical team that is so proactive throughout my journey, just having people who seem to never have a life or sleep, but they are just so committed to their work. That there's always a Plan B, really if Plan A fails. And just people are so proactive and that's honestly I think one of the many like blessings I've had throughout this journey as people have been able to like make the next steps and do the next plans for me because you're just such an emotional wreck. You kind of zombie from one thing to the next, right? I love a to-do list, I like having control, I like to know what's coming. I'm that kind of a person. So this was such a challenge just in itself, to just let go and go, You know what? I trust you literally with my life. So if you're saying this is what's next and I've got to do that.

Zhenya: So you were laying in bed when you found your lump. Was it by accident, or were you purposely doing a self-check at that time? 

Bernice: That particular day it was an accident. Wasn't part of my self-check regime. It literally was just a stretch and kind of as you know, how this morning feels and you know, and it was there and it was weird. It wasn't there the day before.

Zhenya: Wow, that's crazy. That's why we say do monthly ones, right?

Bernice: Absolutely. Because your body changes. I think we take it for granted, especially as we get older in life, there's so many things that just change without you even realizing it, and suddenly you look in the mirror and it's like you know, a different version or you, now the things on your body don’t sit where they used to sit, you know, so it is so important to just know your body and trust your gut. Like if there's something in you that says something is not okay, trust it, honor it, and go to the doctor. And that's just what I tell everyone now as well.

Zhenya: I love that. Thank you so much. Were there any other signs that you noticed or was it just a lump?

Bernice: Looking back, a lot of people asked me that, looking back I think there were, you know, I had a bit of an upset tummy, sorry for the overshare, an upset tummy for a few weeks. And I probably should have, that was, I think now, probably my body going "something isn't okay". You know, no one's ever said that that had a direct link, but it's just you know, you can look back and go, sure my body wasn't okay. My body was already telling me something was off. But obviously not until I felt it, could I actually know what to do next. 

Zhenya: Oh, that's interesting. So many people think of like different things like, oh, yeah, I was having headaches for a while. So you may not be familiar, but our Foundation is famous for the 12 Signs of Breast Cancer image. Have you seen it? 

Bernice: Yeah, the lemons! 

Zhenya: So many people say "Yeah, just a lump is a sign of breast cancer". Like there's nothing else, but really, there's 11 more to look at and to be aware of, and some people say "Oh yeah, I had eight of those symptoms, actually." And I was like oh my goodness! 

Bernice: I think it's problematic of girls and women as we kind of go, oh I'm just sick, or I'm just tired or I'm run down, or it’s hormones, or you know, my period or you know, we always find an excuse to not take it seriously. I think it's in part fear, but also just "well, I'll be fine". You know, we are quite resilient and not to you know, gender norm or anything like that. But, you know, there's just that sense of we'll be fine. It's okay, I've got this, and the more again, the more we talk about it and share all these everyday things that you can look out for, I think it's empowering and it just creates a narrative of "it's not all doom and gloom, it's gonna be shitty for a bit, but it's gonna be okay. It can be okay."

Zhenya: Oh, I love that, oh you're so amazing. Thank you so much. So you said that you found it last year. So where are you now in your cancer journey?

Bernice: Yeah, it's been the craziest nine or so months. So I had the planned six sessions of chemotherapy, which is the typical, the red devil as they call it. And then actually, towards the end of my chemo, it grew back. I had brilliant results, great reduction in the size, and then towards the end, it grew back quite dramatically. So that was just heart-wrenching. But like I said, by the time I had my scan and saw my oncologist again, he had a new plan. So I'm so grateful for him. So I started a new regime of chemo, and I did four cycles of platinum, and that was much kinder on the soul and on the body. And that wielded just brilliant results, like when it was at its peak, you could feel it and you could actually see it in the silhouette of my body. And when it got smaller, you could feel it's reduced and so it was always quite lovely to be able to feel it shrinking. So that was a nice payoff at least. So I finished that. I had my lumpectomy in May? Yes, I finished chemo in April, I had my lumpectomy in May, incredible surgical oncology team. They were wonderful with the lumpectomy and even did a nice little recon for me on both, which was just a wonderful, wonderful thing. And then I actually started my radiation last week, Monday. So I am six down, 22 to go on radiation.

Zhenya: You got this!! Good luck!

Bernice: Yeah, thank you. It's been an incredible journey, like one that's gone so quickly, but also in slow motion.

Zhenya: Yeah, it's kind of a weird time warp. All right, so you've seen our 12 signs image, what were your first reactions and thoughts when you saw it?

Bernice: It was weird. Like even though I know I'm okay, you know, we're cancer free right now, there was a part of me that was feeling like "Oh my gosh, what what?" You know the paranoia of like, "what is that?" I just thought it was just a lovely visual that was, you know, palatable and easy to digest. And like, really take in, and I think that, like I mentioned earlier, I think that really takes the fear out of it. It makes it very real and playful almost, which I think is fine. I used humor as a defense mechanism all my life and especially during cancer, like it was, it really helped me, people thought I was losing my mind, but I appreciate the playfulness of it because it just takes the sting out, and it makes it, it makes it real, but in the way that it's conquerable and that it's every day and we'll be fine. And I appreciate that.

Zhenya: Thank you. I appreciate that, that it's conquerable. Love that. Thank you. And do you know about our free self-exam app, the Know Your Lemons app?

Bernice: I actually downloaded it today while I was waiting for my radiation appointment, and I completely forgot to look through it. But I'm eager to get into that and to see what that's all about.

Zhenya: That’s okay, thank you for downloading that and being excited about it! I love that so much,  you're just radiating so much passion, I can feel it across the world. It's so awesome. I feel like you'd be a really great volunteer educator. I don't know if you've looked into that program at all with us. There are a lot of women like you who have gone through breast cancer and then they're going through it now, or a few years after and they want to help out and teach people about this. And so totally up to you. You can look into it more, but we provide people with this community of women all around the world. We get together monthly to talk about what we can do to help people in our community with early detection, and I think you'd be great.

Bernice: I love that. I've been looking for something, and I just feel that there has to be some good that has to come from this, right? And I want it to be good. So if my story gets one girl to do a breast exam or one woman to not put off her mammogram then, my God, I will do this 1000 times over. I will go through this again. Yeah, so I’d love that.

Zhenya: Bernice, thank you so much. You're so amazing. I'm so lucky to be able to talk to you. You are a wonderful woman and you are so strong and so joyful! Thank you for wanting to help. I know that your story will be truly inspiring for women, so thank you so much for meeting with me. Do you have any questions at all for me?

Bernice: No, not at this point, no.

Zhenya: I hope you have a good rest of your night. Thanks for talking with me!

Bernice: Thank you so much for making time for me and we will chat soon. Bye!